In the ideal world our aging parents would stay in their own homes for as long as possible, with minimal help to look after each other. Maybe a family member popping in to help or do a bit of shopping, or a carer arranged by local services to come in and help with minor tasks. In fact, this is what local services are trying to encourage, staying at home as long as we can, and there is a lot of help available with this.
Unfortunately, some people develop very complex caring needs with disease, after operations, or with developing dementia, and need more intense care than their partner or family members can offer in the home. In this case, a person may need to move into a residential care or nursing home, which can obviously be upsetting for everyone involved, and may even be refused by the person who needs it most.
The best way to deal with this is to stay calm, assess your parents' needs both in terms of care and financially, and contact local services or Age UK Advice Line for confidential support.
Here is a helpful article to read which might help you with this issue: 7 STEPS TO TAKE WHEN AGING PARENTS NEED HELP